The eighth week of FFL didn't hold many surprises. Winners continue to win, and losers just keep on losing. While counting votes in Georgia, it occurred to me that at the end of the day, we all come out winners during this outstanding second season of our league. Unless you're owners of Team Broundon, Huge Fuzzyballs, or Hotrodda rodda. Then...you are a loser....because you didn't try. Here's the Week 8 Breakdown!
Huge Fuzzyballs VS Whiskey Drinkers
Kinda seems like the Fuzzyballs might be kissing some proverbial ass this week, since no one on the planet could have made more terrible starting decisions than this teams owner. Throwing a game on purpose isn't looked on kindly in this dealership you apple polishing bonehead. Acting surprised that your baby came out black when your wife's best friend is Kanye West isn't fooling anyone.
Whiskey Drinkers coach watched this game from the booth this week, and it showed. He doesn't realize that you can't actually rest your players in a Fantasy Football league. Passing out half way through the week didn't kill the team though, and the win came without much bragging to do as this team's only victory was just doing just well enough not to lose.
Bear Down VS Fresh Prince of Helaire
Bear Down gets props AGAIN this week with yet another win. This team went from zero to hero faster than you can say "I swear she looked 18!". There is no-one who could shake a stick at the moves this owner made to get himself a respectable team. I can't see this team rising to the top however, since he will surely be arrested again for being too close to children before the season ends.
Holy whack a mole! This team fell faster than a 9/11 jumper. What happened to the empty promises this owner made at the beginning of the season? I can only deduce it's Karma. Attempting last minute draft order changes, and changing rules mid season doesn't seem to be working out now does it? I do give this team some credit though, Helaire is putting together a hell-of-a season.
Numero Uno St John VS North Idaho Lone Wolf
Numero Unos win streak is this teams mantra, stringing together any type of streak at all seems impossible at this point for this squad. The only streak accomplished by these guys was the naked run-around at the last Furry Convention up there in Colville. They did pull off the win against the reining champs though, so for that they should feel proud.
Oh, it's lonely at the top. This teams fall from grace has been slow and steady, and we hope that ole pappy doesn't beat himself up too hard. We all need to be thoughtful of this teams owner, he doesn't understand that sucking on your own toes is cute as an infant, but gets a little sad when you are as old as God. (BTW it's Kris's turn to bring a casserole to this his home this week.)
MaT Ice VS Team Mayo DeMaio
Well, I guess MaT will always have week seven to reminisce about. This owner got back to his roots of sucking for this weeks games. I caught him telling someone how awesome he was at winning races when he was in grade school yesterday. Keep running hard little guy, but it's time to grow past the upset in week 7.
Team Mayo DeMaio is like a group of LARPers feeling like they slayed a dragon this week. I don't think I have ever seen a more proud owner as he searched for something to feel good about. In all fairness to him, he was the high point scorer of the week. Enjoy your perceived glory big guy, your team will bite butthole again next week.
Hotrodda rodda VS Team Broundon
If two Taco Bell turds grew legs and arms and decided to Indian wrestle, that would look a lot like this game. Hotpoopy poopy looked like a heroin addict who gets poked by passers-by to check for life while Team Poopdon sniffed at his hair like Joe Biden. All in all, an interesting spectacle for everyone waiting to see if Sleepy Joe got any.
Team Broundon never disappoints, as he made what he thought might be some beneficial trades early in the week. Turns out he ended up looking like a fat kid who got diabetic candy for Halloween. His only saving grace is the fact that Russell Wilson is having a career year. Try again Broundon, your trades are as idiotic as your team.
Brutal Master VS Team Riggs
Team Riggs' two headed monster turned out to be a two headed dildo this week. The first end went in early, and Brutal gently inserted the other side by the end of Monday Nights game. It appears as though no matter how much anyone tries to take down the Master, they always get it in the end.
No surprise that Brutal Master wins another game this week. This poised and regal team is surely ready to receive the trophy for this season. Zeus himself bows to this owner daily, and the lowly peasants in the rest of the league have begun begging for mercy already. Slow down boys, there is plenty of time for boot licking. Next up for Brutal Master...Whiskey Drinkers. The Drinkers will surely be begging by Sunday night.
-Brutal Writer
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