Week 11
There was certainly some "by the chinny chin chin" this week. Some of these games showed promise for upsets, but to no avail. Interesting to say the least, as I mulled over the race for second place. There is for sure some funny business going on in the dealership with some of the owners pulling out all the stops to try to secure a playoff spot. Keep the unfair trades being proposed in check by making sure to veto trades that look like rape. Keep an eye on Brandon, it appears as though he will take the dick from anyone to secure the Gary. If you are part of the Bullshit, go suck a dick! Week 11 Breakdown:
Team Mayo DeMaio VS Huge Fuzzyballs
Team Mayo got the upset this week against a wounded Fuzzyballs team even without the big numbers he usually gets from his ringer quarterback. One hundred percent this team could make it all the way into the playoffs and beyond! (If all the other teams cut off their dicks and die a swampy death leaving only them and "the team formerly known as the Broundons" left on the planet.
Huge Fuzzyballs failed AGAIN to perform this week, looking like an 80 year old who didn't bring enough Viagra on his vacation to Puerto Vallarta. The aloof manager still won't know the fate of this game until he reads my newsletter, (if he can wake up long enough to even do that). His domination of the regular season last year isn't carrying over like he had hoped. Enjoy the nutter butters dude.
I Got TheGaryOnmyCock (sp?) VS Bear Down
This name change doesn't let us forget that this team literally sucks balls at Fantasy Football. There is already talk of banning this team from getting the Gary simply because he seems to want it. To the rest of us, being the guy in the bar who tries to start a fight just to get his ass kicked doesn't seem normal, but secretly Broundon fakes being passed out at the party hoping for a "Blind Unicorn".
Bear Down made an almost fatal mistake starting the wrong quarterback this week even though he was given advice from the Brutal Master himself as documented here:
Team Riggs VS Numero Uno St John
This game sealed the deal for Team Riggs. This attempt to be good team, dropped the straw that broke the camels back this week with a loss to a loser. Remember the time the strategy to hit on the ugly girl to make her hot friend jealous didn't work, and you ended up waking up next to said ugo? Welcome to Team Riggs and the failed season it has become for these guys.
The league keeps Numero Uno around because as hideous as she is, she'll always be open to do strange things with us when we are drunk in bed. This team keeps hanging around like a fart in the sheets, but at least it's been entertaining to see them take down some of the has-beens. It would be pretty cool to see Whiskey Drinkers to go down for a third straight week...
Whiskey Drinkers VS MaT Ice
The Whiskey Drinkers are falling faster than Susan Sarandons tits. It's a tragedy when such a talented squad are reduced to a puddle of foul smelling guano in just a few short weeks. Goes to show that it's a pretty funny drunk story when you shit your pants at age 21, but when you keep doing it into your 40's it just seems kinda sad.
MaT Ice must have given someone a good BJ to bust out this type of score. 170 respectively, almost taking the highest single game scoring record this season. It's a shame we still might not see this team in the playoffs. It would have been exciting to watch. This guy has more ups and downs than Christian Bale in American Psycho.
Fresh Prince of Helaire VS Hotrodda rodda
What a prime example of an actual pile of crap the Helaire coach has become. Walking around with his head held high on another squeaker of a win. It's like watching a buddy bragging about how he titty fucked his sister. Preaching great team management while also admitting that sis was passed out on Oxys. Shameful.
Hotrodda roddas owner is pretty much as bad, trying to take credit for getting close to a playoff bid by paying some guy who actually watches football to make his trade/starting lineup choices for him. It's a good thing he won't win the trophy since his name wouldn't be on it anyway, we'd have to put it in the technicians stall who earned it.
North Idaho Lone Wolf VS Brutal Master
Well, the old fella showed up to play this week, and looked good in his WWII garbs. Unfortunately, for him, the Allies won again. It looked close at the beginning of Monday nights game, but it became pretty obvious why Brady is now not a first rounder anymore. Brutal Master cruised to victory and left the wrinkled fella staring at milk steak befuddled.
Brutal Master's coach sat this one out resting for the playoffs, but checked the scores this morning with no surprise at the victory. When reached for comment the only reply was "No Shit Sherlock". Brutal Master has not only become the franchise to beat, but it's owner has now been given the nickname "The Genius" by his equals.
-Brutal Writer
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