Week 12
I Got TheGaryOnLock VS Huge Fuzzyballs
It's pretty obvious that the team formerly known as the Broundons can't escape the shame of getting last place this year. It's been no ups and all downs for this team. Watching the absolutly embarrassing season these guys have had is like watching a race in the Paralympics where one guys prosthetic fell off at the beginning of the race. It's just really sad.
Huge Fuzzyballs should feel absolutely no pride in defeating a team as bad as the Gary's. The Balls are starting to resemble a downs syndrome dog that licks its butt before the turd comes all the way out. Completely aloof to the you tube videos being posted of the exhibition. This owner would have benefitted by reading the newsletter once in a while, it might have helped on this one.
Team Riggs VS Bear Down
Team Riggs became an unlikely hero this week taking down the Bear Down team. Although, playoffs are not in this teams future, it can be said that this team played with class this year, and will be even more revered if they manage to bust Huge Balls out of the playoffs in week 13. God Bless a cradle robber, he had better things to do than put together a great team this year.
Speaking of cradle robber, there is none more infamous than the owner of the Bear Downs. Most don't realize that the name is actually a sex position. This team has put more thorns in the sides of owners this season than the Romans put in the Messiah. I can't tell whether he is good or evil, it's kind of like thinking the clown from "IT" is funny. I guess we'll see if this team will show up next week, or crap the bed. Either way, it's sure to be messy.
Whiskey Drinkers VS Numero Uno St John
The Whiskey Drinkers went down again, but it wasn't as fun to watch as when Anna Bell Peaks does it. What happened to this formerly decent team? It's like they play in the NFC East. Owning your own bar always seems like a great idea until you drink all the profits away and get busted selling cocaine over the rail. This team looks like my fat cousin after a night of celebrating a Cowboys victory.
The Unos get an ounce of respect for this game, (exactly one ounce), coming up with a big W. It looks like Darth Vader after the helmet went on, only with a tiny dick. Super cool and shiny, only with a tiny dick. The owner should be as proud as a peacock, with a tiny dick, after this victory. Good job guys, you pulled out a decent season.
Fresh Prince of Helaire VS MaT Ice
Did anyone tell this team that they could change their name? They should feel less proud of Helaire than the Broundons felt about their name in week 10. Throw away your pride dude, no one thinks you have any anyway. In all fairness, the Fresh Prince came from a generation where even losers win trophies. I'm sure he'll find a way to feel like he won something, he certainly didn't win this one.
MaT Ice pulled off another slaughter. When will this team show it's weakness!? Well, now that I think about it, it's pretty easy to knock out a one armed chick. I don't know whether to give this team credit for the victory, or just have pity that every time they look like they might be playoff bound, they blow it like a hairy whore. Sorry bud, maybe next year.
North Idaho Lone Wolf VS Hotrodda Rodda
Oh boy, how a year can make a difference for the Lone Wolf. Plagued with broken hips and new dentures, this team won't even be a contender for the championship this year. He'll have to pick up that trophy and hand it over to the winner of the league this year. It'll be a sad day for the Lone Wolf, but there's always next year ole fella.
Hotrodda Rodda didn't realize that it's not really a good move to start a tight end at quarterback, because he is still learning the rules of football, but it didn't keep him from the win. You have to give it to the little guy for the win this week and the run to the playoffs. It'll be pretty interesting to see what this team might do next year. I'm thinking it'll be a lot like a new Ron Jeremy film, more of the same.
Team Mayo DeMaio VS Brutal Master
The funniest part of this matchup was the fact that Team Mayo thought they actually had a chance to begin with. All week it was like watching a guy in a wheelchair talk shit to the biggest guy in the bar as if he couldn't be easily sent flying down a hill. I know DeMaio is French for douchebag, but we all realize that the French never did anything right EXCEPT for inventing Mayo. Hope your butt doesn't hurt too bad after this one.
Trivia Question:
Who holds the single game scoring record for this seasons FFL?
Brutal Master of course!
The trophy will look good enough on his desk, there is no reason to bow when the owner walks in. The kissing of the shoes is enough...
-Brutal Writer
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