Season Wrap-up

 Week 10

I remember a kid in middle school, (let's call him Bris Prett) who came running out of his last period class, jumping up and down with excitement yelling about his victory that week.  When asked why he was so excited, the puny lad proclaimed that the bully who normally stole his lunch money had stayed home sick that day.  I really don't need to explain that we all just felt sorry for the boy, since he had not really WON anything, he just got lucky and dodged a bullet.  Ah, the memories of childhood...  Week 10 Breakdown:

Huge Fuzzyballs VS North Idaho Lone Wolf

Huge Fuzzyballs fell this week at probably the worst time to fail, at any one game, from now until the end of the season.  The affliction of ADD finally caught up to this teams owner, and not paying attention didn't pay off for the first time in a while.  It might be good to take some Ritalin and try to get it together soon, or the playoffs might elude you while you chase a squirrel.

Give it up for Grandpa this week, the Lone Wolf team looked unstoppable from the start of the early game kick off.  This team could potentially do some damage before the season ends.  As long as the Viagra doesn't wear off, the old man could bang some strippers on his way to the post season.  Good luck old man, you could be the turd in the punchbowl for some teams on the edge of the playoffs.

Bear Down VS Team Mayo DeMaio

Wow this Bear Down team looked like shit this week!  Watching this game felt like watching soft core porn.  The Bear Downs never showed what would even come close to what would resemble insertion.  It looks like this owner might have shot his load before the scene started, and the cocaine has worn.  At least he will have some good stories to tell his grandkids about how he almost made it.

I forgot that the Mayo team existed until I became fascinated with the destruction of the Bear Down guys.  I guess I have to give them some props, taking a nut shot while trying a stupid skateboard trick might still make you viral for a while.  If I had any money, I'd bet that this team still has a chance at last place.

 

Numero Uno St John VS Team Broundon

Numero Uno one game in a row pulled off a victory this week in this crap ball game.  I felt like a parent watching a home made kids theater production.  I'd rather sit through a documentary about how American cheese is made.  Even this teams owner was caught jacking off in his car this weekend hoping his team was performing while he jizzed in his own eye.

Team Broundon fails again.  This teams manager looks to be actively trying to win the Gary trophy this year just so he can have some sort of interesting story to tell about his life.  The Broundons went to sleep early Monday thinking they had won this game, but much like Trump, they will both be watching the playoffs from their Grandmas couch.

MaT Ice VS Team Riggs

The Miracle on MaT Ice seems to be a wet dream at this point.  The boys didn't even show up for this game.  You can see the condensed version of the Ice guys performance by clicking here:  

                           https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inxCaMMZTfk

Team Riggs is holding on to it's playoff hopes like a crackhead with his last rock.  A playoff spot is conceivable for this team if this two-owner organization can stop looking like a snake attacking it's own tail.  We will forgive you Chris if you let your wife pick your line-up, she's obviously better at it than you anyway.

Hotrodda rodda VS Whiskey Drinkers

Hotrodda rodda found a cucumber and put it down his shorts for this one.  It looks like this team found a big dong this week to take out the Drinkers in quick fashion.  Congrats to this teams owner, it looks like he might have finally figured out how to compete in fantasy football.  It's too late though for this joker, he showed up late to the party.

Speaking of party, the Whiskey Drinkers found daddy's liquor cabinet this week and did a face first into his mom's panty drawer.  This team is sloppy to say the least, just when it comes time to seal up a playoff spot, they celebrated too soon like an AA member the day before his first year of sobriety.

Brutal Master VS Fresh Prince of Helaire

Brutal Master showed poise and humility after this loss even with the sore loser Fresh Prince hurling insults at his mom after the game.  What a class act this team is!  The owner/manager was thankful for his teams never quit attitude even after the super duper lucky win by the Helaires.  There is already talk of this gem making the FFL hall of fame before the waiting period is up.

Fresh Prince of Helaire's owner tried to extort a good write-up in Brutal Newsletter early in the week, but pussied out when his bet was called by the Brutal Master.  Although he lost this bet by not making it at all, I felt like I should give him the accolades he deserves.  

He is the King (of licking ball sacks).  

He is the champion (of taking it in the butt).  

He is the God (of dipshits)

There you go asshole.

-Btutal Writer