Week 4

 The forth week of the FFL season gives us an outlook on how the season might end.  Reigning champions losing to crap teams, crap teams winning narrow victories over league leaders.  During these times, more than ever, fact checking becomes imperative to the  legitimacy of the newsletter.  Brutal Fact Checker has been busy at work making sure that all the statements made in this article every week are 100% true and inarguable.  Please enjoy your mistake free newsletter.

Fresh Prince of Helaire VS Team Mayo DeMaio

The Fresh Prince team came out swinging at the struggling Mayo team.  The most interesting part of this matchup was the repeated punching of a sexually frustrated Prince owner, to the face of what appears to be a  team who looks like a mob rat sitting in concrete shoes waiting to be pushed off the boat.  Fresh Prince to their credit, seemed to finally look like a force to be dealt with, even though they still struggle with ticket sales resembling a second rate Circus Ole.

Team Mayo DeMaio predictably laid down on it's front and just took the pounding like a broken man.  The team owner, not even spotted on the sideline during the game, was seen weeping in the dealership as late as Wednesday.  He could not be reached for comment and asked that eye contact not be made for the remainder of the season.  It's sad to see a fall from grace, but no fall here, this team sucked from the start.

North Idaho Lone Wolf VS Team Broundon

North Idaho Lone Wolf endured what is being called the most shameful upset in FFL history.  Losing to arguably the worst team in the league proved that Metamucil doesn't work ALL of the time.  No matter how much the coach of this team screamed at the Broundons to get "off of his damn lawn", those darn kids kept the taunt going until the game ended in spectacular fashion.  Let's hope this team makes some changes during the week to avoid another mishap.

Team Broundon is feeling the joys of victory this week like a mangy dog who just got thrown a bone.  Sadly, no one will adopt the stinky puppy, as it will probably crap on your carpet and grind the poop in trying to bury it.  This team needs to enjoy the W as long as it can, the losing will commence again soon enough.

Whiskey Drinkers VS Team Riggs

Whiskey Drinkers jumped on the wagon of winners thoroughly  throttling Team Riggs like Anna Bell Peaks playing a step mom.  Slightly scary, but learning like a big boy, the Riggs boys enjoyed the domination secretly.  The Drinkers are riding high still drunk from the post game celebrations, but soon enough, it'll be one o'clock in the afternoon, and they are not properly hydrated.

What can you say about a team that has a basketball shoe as the logo for its football team, other than this manager must live in a constant state of confusion. No one knows what Team Riggs is doing, including the manager.  We can't tell who is running the show down at Team Riggs, but there is suspicion it isn't the money bags funding the team.  It appears as though he might just be a sugar daddy.

Hotrodda Rodda VS Huge Fuzzyballs

Hotrodda Rodda felt the fuzziness on his chin this week as the Fuzzyballs made no apologies about taking what they wanted.  When reached for comment, the manager of this team wanted nothing to do with the newsletter stating "I can't be reached via phone for comment".  Surprising since Brutal Fact checker was talking to him on his cell.  The luck has run out for this team.  Sad to see that the Roddas got sent home crying to their mommas this week.

Huge Fuzzyballs stood up to their name this week waving around those oversized monstrosities all over the dealership.  The owner of this team has disappeared however under much speculation that the twig size doesn't match the berries.  More likely, he is running scared realizing he must face Brutal Master this week.  No one has dared touch the Fuzzyballs yet this season, but it's assured The Masters just think of it as more to grab and rip off

Numero Uno St John VS Bear Down

We almost forgot to watch this game.  What a group of losers the Numero Uno St John team turned out to be.  The only claim to fame so far is the winning of this pathetic matchup.  This team reminded me of the guy in middle school who bragged he had crabs so everyone would know he had pubic hair.  I don't understand getting into something over your head, but I can only assume this team can't swim.  A drowning would save us all from the pain of watching this team sink for the rest of the season. 

Bear Down brought a new meaning to the term BI-week, losing whatever dignity they might have left after this throttling from both sides.  I can't tell if this team is a seventy year old woman with a bad face lift, or a tranny with a good one.  No matter what this team does week to week, it's UGLY.  I can't see them pulling off another win for the rest of the season, the owner just needs to keep pulling himself off.

MaT Ice VS Brutal Master

What started out looking like a promising chance for a W,  MaT Ice team turned into a shameful walk of shame before the 4th quarter.  Picking a kicker as his only hope for the win, it was obvious that the ever dominating Brutal Master would indeed pile drive this team in the porn way.  Overall, MaT Ice never stood a chance against this powerhouse.  From the beginning, the Master brought a gun to a knife fight and MaT Ice slunked away like the bitch it is.

Again, Brutal Master showed poise and class refusing to spank this team too hard with respect for it's proverbial wife.  No one can see the bruises if they aren't on the face.  Brutal Master by all calculations and simulations will continue to rule this league with grace.  This writer tears up with pride when thinking about this magical team and it's genius owner.

-Brutal Writer