Week 2

 Week 2 brings with it joys of victory, and agony of defeat.  It is of the opinion of Brutal Newsletter that it's unbiased objective state, must certainly remain intact although several managers of teams think that bullying the author will find them favor in the weekly news letter.  Let me be clear, Brutal Newsletter, and it's related sponsors WILL NOT be intimidated into changing it's policy of statements made at any time during the NFL season.  In a spirit of transparency, our sponsors will be listed on a document entitled "sponsorship".  Thank-you

Signed,

The Writer

Team Riggs VS Fresh Prince of Helaire

It looks like Team Riggs may have some fight this year after all, at least until Rodgers gets hurt.  The Kelce pick turned out to be a saving grace as well.  Brutal Newsletter obtained information however that Team Riggs' manager actually illegally obtained his picks on draft day via conference call.  The scandal, which has been described as equivalent to buying "Lotto tickets with an EBT card" sure didn't pay off this week, as Fresh Prince came out the victor.  More on the scandal as it unfolds.

Fresh Prince of Helaire made a great effort after being humiliated in week one by the aging North Idaho Lone Wolf.  It was largely due to the effort of one player however, and Murray won't be playing the Washington "Whatever the Fucks" every game this year.  The Prince should quit strutting around the dealership as if this win was skill, his beard oil makes the floor slick.

Team Mayo DeMaio VS North Idaho Lone Wolf

Team Mayo DeMaio finally got the game he needed out of Mahomes, and it couldn't have come at a worse time as they faced the formattable North Idaho Lone Wolf.  When faced for comment about this weeks match-up, the team manager was quoted as saying "I don't know what the fuck I am doing", which has turned out to be the only truthful thing he has said all year.  It is still meant to be seen if Team Mayo DeMaio can figure out how to spell the team name with the correct use of capital letters.

North Idaho Lone Wolf came out with a predictable win while sitting in an easy chair trying to figure out how this whole "inter-web thingy" works.  It remains to be seen if this juggernaut can hold on to the undefeated season while taking frequent naps.  Coasting along seems to be this team managers MO, but it can't last forever, can it?

 

          Numero Uno St John VS Huge Fuzzyballs

Numero Uno St John seems to be Hell bent on being on the losing end of each game this season, but Green Bays RB tried to ruin his mojo scoring big during the matchup.  Numero's manager regretted not playing more from the bench, as without Jones, he would have achieved the sub 100 points he was clearly looking for. Amazingly enough, Numero Uno might not be the worst team in the league, but it's only because no matter how simple minded the manager is, he still catches a break once in a while.

Huge Fuzzyballs wins the "My Ass Got Lucky" award this week, having the highest point total of any team.  It goes to show that anyone in this league, can at some point, get the pleasure of eating their own jiz.  Huge Fuzzyballs' manager was pooping during the victory, and could not be reach for comment.  although uring the press conference after week two games he said simply:  "Wait, I won?"

Bear Down VS MaT Ice

I'd like to say the Bear Down team gave it a good run, but instead am forced to point out that having only two players score in the double digits this week only provided entertainment for retards.  Bear Downs' poor showing most likely will be the first of many to come, as the manager is more focused on jerking off in the ladies bathroom than coaching his team.  Shameful.

MaT Ice had a well rounded week 2 showing talent from several players.  This team may be a sleeper this year, but most likely will fall short if the manager ever tries to make any moves to better the squad.  The MaT Ice team reminds me of a guy who shaves his head so people don't think he's bald.  The chances of this team going any deeper than an inch into the playoffs would be a miracle.

Whiskey Drinkers VS Team Broundon

The Whiskey Drinkers sobered up this weekend for the big game, but all the glory was overshadowed by the fact that his opponent might possibly be the worst fantasy player in the history of the planet.  The team manager strutted his stuff early like a guy who got laid, but didn't realize all his friends got a look at the ugly chick before they left the bar together.  All in all, good game for the drinkers, but next weeks adversary will be much harder to mount.

Team Broundon is on pace to be the joke of the league... scratch that, it already is.  This team needs to be dismantled, but not before they beat the inept manager to death with dildos for AGAIN benching Wilson.  This coach is the equivalent to a fat girl showing up to a cocktail party feeling sexy for having shaved her legs.  No sympathy from Brutal Newsletter for this dolt.

Brutal Master VS Hotrodda rodda

It was obvious that Brutal Master showed sympathy for the challenged Hotrodda roddas.  When asked about the game during the post week press conference how his team could have fallen to such a group of crapheads, the Brutal Manager, often described as being even more intelligent than he is handsome, (hard to do) (fact checked) replied, "it would have been mean to beat a puppy to death".  The manager of the week award goes to this owner for having mercy on an auto-drafting baby bunny.  Bear Down will most certainly not get such a gift in week three.

Hotrodda rodda won the gold at the special olympics this week, and was proud of it!  Running a great time in the "20 meter assisted walk", the team manager held his head high as Brutal Master let him enjoy the gift of a win.  You can still get a view of the sunset from a Walmart parking lot, let him enjoy it while he can.

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